What is my passion?

"I have but one passion - it is He, it is He alone. The world is the field and the field is the world; and henceforth that country shall be my home where I can be most used in winning souls for Christ." (Count Zinzindorf)

I gave up the Blogging for a while, took it up again, gave it up again.. and now here I am... I do this the same way I journal. If you are like me you have many half filled, or empty journals on your shelf. The thoughts that go through my mind have not slowed down I just don't seem to get them to the paper (or screen) any more.

Anyway.. I had a great session with some brothers this morning. One of the things that came to mind and heart was "Where is my passion?" Recently, as many of you know I have stepped out of formal pastoral ministry, a place where I believed God was calling me. I completed my education (at great cost to my family), and began ministry, just like the plan was supposed to work, right(?). Along the way God seemed to be telling me that for me to be in ministry the way he called me to ministry I would have to be different than most people around me. Of course, when I did this it was my ruin in the traditional denominational church. I am at peace with that, and I pray for those who fruitfully serve in that church and thrive there in good Kingdom work. But my inability to fit in there began me in a journey of trying to figure out why God made me the way He did, and so, I began to wonder, now that I am standing on the outside... what is my passion?

I think I had gotten to a place where my passion began to take on the same image as my worldly desires. A place where my passion stood above God's passion for me. I started to chase after what made me happy, what I felt was right worship, right practice, right doctrine etc... I, like many of us began to replace parts of what I knew were God with parts of myself, I began to carve an idol that looked a lot like me. I think God has placed me in a great valley of peace and introspection for a reason. I am finding strength here in knowing that He is recreating me in His image, and I have stopped trying to recreate Him in mine.

The scripture that brought it home for me this morning was 1 Cor 1:11-13 - "For some members of Chloe’s household have told me about your quarrels, my dear brothers and sisters. Some of you are saying, “I am a follower of Paul.” Others are saying, “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Peter,” or “I follow only Christ.”Has Christ been divided into factions? Was I, Paul, crucified for you? Were any of you baptized in the name of Paul? Of course not!"

Have we found a Paul, or Apollos, or Peter to follow?
Have we become a Paul, Apollos, or Peter who wants followers?
Have we divided Christ into factions (i.e. denominations, faiths, beliefs, versions of the Bible, Charismatic or Fundamentalist.. etc...)?

Are you satisfied with whom you are following? and is it Christ alone?
Go back and read Zinzindorf's words at the beginning of this post.. is that true for you?